Gut Feelings You Should Never Ignore in Relationships
By Lana Carter
We’ve all heard the phrase “trust your gut.” When it comes to relationships, whether romantic, platonic, family, or professional, that inner voice can be one of your greatest tools for protection and clarity.
Your nervous system is wired to pick up on subtle cues long before your conscious mind has time to process them. What feels like a gut feeling is often your body noticing patterns of behavior, tone, or energy shifts. Ignoring these signals can lead to repeated hurt, while honoring them can help you establish boundaries, protect your peace, and build healthier connections.
At &Rise, we believe in creating a world where every woman survivor feels seen, supported, and empowered to heal, thrive, and embrace the happiness and success she deserves. That’s why we provide educational resources, counseling, support groups, and coaching to help women step fully into the best versions of themselves.
In this article, we’ll talk about the science behind gut feelings and how to recognize and honor them.
What are gut feelings, really?
A gut feeling isn’t just instinct. You can think of it as your own brand of magic, shaped by lived experience. Some experts think that intuition is a slower form of decision-making or pattern recognition than logical reasoning. You may be taking more unconscious information into account than you realize. Your body communicates these cues through muscle tone, heart rate, and endocrine activity.
According to research on somatic psychology, your body is often the first to signal when you’re unsafe. When something feels “off,” it may be because your nervous system recognizes a familiar threat, even if your mind hasn’t caught up yet. That “pit in your stomach” or “tight chest” is worth listening to.
Gut feelings you should never ignore
While not every uneasy feeling means something is wrong, there are certain intuitive warnings that should always be taken seriously. You can have gut feelings in any area of your life. When it comes to relationships, they can point you toward boundaries you may need to review or situations you need to discuss.
Here are some examples of gut feelings that may give you important clues about your relationships:
You feel drained after spending time together. Healthy relationships should leave you feeling nourished, not depleted.
Their words don’t match their actions. If someone promises change but never follows through, trust their behavior over their words.
You’re walking on eggshells. Feeling like you can’t speak freely is a sign of emotional control or manipulation.
You feel uneasy about how they treat others. How someone treats strangers, coworkers, or service staff often reflects how they may treat you over time.
Your body tenses up around them. Physical responses like a racing heart, shallow breath, or clenched muscles can mean your body doesn’t feel safe.
You constantly justify their behavior. If you find yourself making excuses to friends or family, it’s time to take a deeper look.
How to honor your intuition without fear
Trusting your gut doesn’t mean reacting impulsively. It means allowing yourself to pause, notice the signals, reflect, and then respond in a grounded way.
Here are some ways to work with those inner nudges:
Journal it out: Writing down your feelings helps you spot patterns over time.
Talk it through: A trusted friend, mentor, or therapist can offer perspective and help you see what’s real versus fear-driven.
Set small boundaries: Test how people respond when you say no or ask for what you need. Their reaction tells you a lot.
Ground yourself: Practices like deep breathing, yoga, or meditation help you separate intuition from anxiety.
Your gut is a guide, not a burden
Remember, your intuition is not here to scare you. It’s here to guide you toward relationships that are safe, fulfilling, and reciprocal. Trusting it doesn’t mean you’ll never make mistakes, but it does mean you’ll strengthen your ability to honor yourself.
Build relationships you can trust with &Rise
Relationships can be complicated, but your intuition is a compass that never leaves your side. At &Rise, we’re here to help you learn to trust that compass and surround yourself with people who uplift you. Our free weekly support groups, free counseling, and empowering events are designed to give women survivors a safe space to process and grow. Keep an eye out for virtual workshops on relationship red flags! We do these at least once a year.
Ready to strengthen your support system? Join the &Rise community and subscribe to our newsletter for weekly empowerment, resources, and upcoming events.
