Tips to combat Repressing Anger
I came to the realization that my anger is actually sadness disguised as anger. As a child, I was taught that my feelings didn’t matter. I was also taught that crying was unacceptable and that “if you cry, I will give you a reason to cry.” As a child, I interpreted this as, “you aren’t allowed to show emotions or you will be punished.” Still, to this day, I have issues showing my sadness. It’s something I am always working on and aware of.
Before I started my healing journey, I was a very negative and angry person. I had so much anger and resentment in my heart towards my parents and all the people who had done me wrong. I used to also be spiteful. If someone hurt me, I wanted to hurt them back so they can see how it felt. I eventually turned into a person who purposely wanted to hurt others before they got a chance to hurt me. This was detrimental to my relationships and my own mental and emotional well-being.
I never wanted to be a person who hurt others but, “hurt people, hurt people,” and I was hurting people, and I hated who I was becoming. Since then, I worked through a lot of anger issues I had and let go of a lot of resentment that I had in my heart. I finally realized that my resentment turned me cold and bitter. If you find yourself struggling with the same, this blog is for you. Below are some tips to work through repressing anger.
It's okay to not be okay. No explanation is needed.
It's okay to be sad, angry, happy, etc. These are human emotions and you do have a right to express yourself. Remember, you have to feel it to heal it. If you try to hold back your anger - this can manifest itself in your body and turn into physical pain.
Let it out. This doesn’t mean going beat up or cursing out the person who caused the anger but letting out the anger in a healthy way. Exercise, yoga, walking, and anything physical can be helpful to release anger. You can also talk with a trusted friend or family member about what is upsetting you. Journaling is another great way to release anger and if you choose, burn it or rip the journal entry up when you're done. It can be a symbolic way to release anger.
Cry if you need to. It's my trauma and I’ll cry if I want to. Just kidding. But in all seriousness, crying releases serotonin and actually makes you feel better. If you feel the need to cry, let it out. Crying is also another way to release and be in touch with your emotions.
Don’t ignore the anger. Remember, feel it to heal it. Don’t ignore it or downplay it. Feel it. Let it out, then you can let it go. Once you allow yourself to let it go, then you can move on.
Baby Steps. Healing and working through trauma takes time. Give yourself grace. You are rewiring your brain to do something different from what you’ve been doing. If you fail, try again. Remember, it's not a sprint, it's a marathon. Give yourself credit for even reading this blog and trying to learn about this. Every step forward, no matter how small, is still a win! Celebrate yourself and your wins.
To learn more about &Rise and how we empower women, visit our website at www.womenrisechicago.org. We are here to support you in whatever way we can. Remember, you are not alone.
Jennifer Ramirez
&Rise Founder
