Topics We Talk About in Boundary Setting Support Groups in Chicago
By Claire Moacdieh
Boundaries are the emotional, physical, and mental limits we set for ourselves in various aspects of our lives. By setting boundaries, we can access our personal and emotional potentials. It can be difficult to recognize when a boundary has been crossed. Or, it might be difficult to set a healthy boundary when in the past, that action has been connected with things that have harmed you. Setting boundaries acts as an important tool that can ultimately help you become a stronger person and establish healthy relationships.
Healing can be a long and complicated process. No matter where you are on your journey, we are here to help. Among the other services that &Rise offers, one resource that could help you learn about your boundaries is our free, weekly support group focused on boundary setting practices.
If you think this boundary-setting group might be able to help, here is a list of some topics that have been covered in the past:
Vulnerability
Being vulnerable with someone is taking a risk to trust them with the things that weigh on you.
People struggle with vulnerability for different reasons. Maybe you have been hurt by someone in the past and have a hard time trusting others. Maybe you are worried that by opening up to someone, they might respond poorly. Or maybe you are worried that you care more for them than they do for you. Often, it can feel easier to pull yourself away from someone than to risk the potential harm of getting hurt.
Vulnerability is one of the first aspects of building trust in a healthy relationship.
It can be hard to figure out if you are setting boundaries or putting up walls. It can also be hard to figure out who to trust, especially if you have been hurt in the past. One of the ways the boundary setting support group might be able to help you is to understand when to trust someone else and when to be vulnerable.
Self-Sabatoging
Self-sabotaging behaviors are any actions that you may take that might prevent success in your life. If you are working towards a goal, but it feels like you are taking one step forward and two steps back, then you might be practicing some of these unhealthy habits. Self-sabotaging behaviors can be conscious or unconscious, meaning that you might not even be aware that you are doing them.
There are many ways that these actions can appear. You might be procrastinating on important tasks with outcomes that you are anxious about, wanting a task to be absolutely perfect and ignoring small improvements. You might intentionally eat unhealthy food even if your goal is to lose weight, or even harm yourself through medication or self-injury. These behaviors can reinforce the negative things that you might believe about yourself, even if you are unaware of these negative feelings.
The Boundaries group might be able to help you identify some of these behaviors. When you set boundaries, you are advocating for yourself, and that even includes fighting against your own harmful behavior.
People Pleasing
If you are a people pleaser, you might be inclined to put others’ needs before your own. You might struggle to say “no” even if you want to. Or you might find yourself bending over backwards to help others, even if you are already overwhelmed with your own life. You might find yourself not speaking up when you are hurt because you don’t want to start a conflict.
These behaviors can be harmful when you put yourself down in the name of trying to be helpful for others. It can be easy to neglect your own needs when you feel responsible for everyone else. It can also be easy to think that pleasing people is the “right” thing to do, especially if you have only ever been taught to serve others. However, when your own health is at risk, it is important to take care of yourself first.
Setting boundaries is an incredibly helpful tool for stopping people-pleasing behavior when it becomes a problem. In the support group, you can learn how to identify your behavior and how to access your personal potential.
Self-Compassion
It can be easy to only think about the negative things in life. In fact, research shows that people’s brains tend to hold on to negative experiences much more than positive experiences.
It is also easy to become hyper-critical of yourself as a result. When you criticize yourself, you can reinforce a negative self-image by holding yourself to a high standard. You might compare yourself to individuals you see online, your peers, or an idea of yourself that feels impossible to reach.
Setting boundaries can help you focus less on the negative things in your life. It can also help you grow into self-compassion and kindness.
Are you ready to start setting boundaries?
You are not alone. If you are new to setting boundaries, they might be strange and challenging at first, but they can ultimately help you in your journey of healing and growth. If any of these topics resonate with you, you might benefit from joining the free, weekly boundary setting support groups in Chicago and northwest Indiana. You can sign up on our support groups page.
If you are looking for more support, you can also sign up for our newsletter for a weekly dose of empowerment, news about our support groups, and notifications for upcoming events. &Rise also offers other weekly support groups for different needs, to help women and girls become more empowered in themselves.
