The Opposite of Triggers: Glimmers
By Kelsey Hoff
Nervous system regulation is a critical skill set for trauma survivors, and each person has to do some experimenting to find out what works for them. Much of the content that you’ll find on nervous system regulation is about grounding and bringing yourself back into the moment when you’re feeling “activated” or detached and dissociated. However, it’s equally as important to lift yourself up into a state of joy, well-being and belonging every day. We need this to establish a baseline feeling of safety and calm.
The keys to unlocking these warm, fuzzy feelings — the opposite of triggers — are called “glimmers.” In this article, I’ll talk about what glimmers are, why they’re important, and how to bring more of them into your life.
What are “glimmers” and why are they important?
Glimmers are little moments of joy or simple pleasures that give you life. They may be sensory feelings, pleasant surprises, inspirations, or exchanges with other people and living things. They’re the things that make your inner child light up. Some of my glimmers are tender moments with my cats, my morning coffee, the feeling of sun and wind on my face after a long day, going for a run when it’s sprinkling outside, and walking barefoot on a freshly cleaned floor. These are the things that just make my heart sing. Some I plan and cultivate on purpose, and some have to happen spontaneously.
It’s worth mentioning that glimmers are things that bring you into your embodied experience in a way that supports your overall well-being. They may feel like a little escape. However, you’re still very much present in your life. Activities that you use to avoid problems and things that undermine your health, like substance use or scrolling on social media, are more likely escaping behaviors. These don’t help you develop resilience the same way glimmers do.
The concept of “glimmers” is actually part of the same theory that gives us the adapted nervous system states: fight, flight, and freeze. Our triggers send us into these defensive survival states. We also have a “safe and social” state in which we feel grounded and connected, known as the ventral vagal state. Our glimmers send us into this safe and social state. Over time, as good and bad things happen to us, we start to expect more of the same. We might find ourselves bracing for discomfort or opening up to more uplifting experiences. When you make time for your glimmers and pay attention to them, you start to feel more relaxed, focused and at peace on a regular basis. It also becomes easier to bounce back when you’re triggered.
Your glimmers might include things like:
Your favorite foods and drinks
Comforting smells like lavender, vanilla, or amber
Invigorating sensations like the taste of mint or the rush of brisk exercise
Spending time in green spaces or near bodies of water
Listening to your favorite musical artist
Doing creative projects
Singing in the car or the shower
Loving on your pets
Caring for your houseplants
How do I bring more glimmers into my life?
The first step is to reflect on the moments when you’ve felt the most joy. Grab a journal and start brainstorming. What are the simple and wholesome things you do that instantly improve your mood? Write down whatever comes to mind. Then zoom in on the past few weeks and think about the little things that have made the biggest difference.
You might keep this going and make it a regular practice to reflect on your glimmers. Get yourself a special notebook or track your glimmers in a bullet journal. Once you know what works best, you can start planning your glimmers ahead of time. Set a goal to have at least one glimmer every day. Let your loved ones know what your glimmers are so they can surprise you — or at least respect your daily glimmer time.
Connect with women who glimmer at &Rise groups and events
The world starts to look a bit safer and more welcoming when you start building glimmers into your day-to-day life. You’ll still need wisdom and boundaries to protect yourself. Your glimmers help you stay in tune with your senses, your intuition, and your personal agency. They play an important role in helping you maintain your well-being, so you should set strong boundaries to protect them.
Are you looking to meet more growth-oriented women on their own healing journeys — ladies you can have great conversations with about things like glimmers and boundaries? We built the &Rise community around trauma healing, but truthfully, it’s about much more than that. We’re helping women become the ultimate versions of themselves. We do this through free support groups, counseling, and special events.
Ready to join us? The best way to get involved is to subscribe to our newsletter for a weekly dose of empowerment, news about our support groups, and notifications for upcoming events. We can’t wait to meet you!
