The Emotional Rollercoaster of Trauma: Guilt and Shame
By Italia Fields
Healing is typically thought of as a linear process. You go to therapy, join a support group, talk to the right people, and “do the work” - moving on with one foot in front of the other. However, this is far from reality for most people. While every person's journey is unique, many people experience a wide range of emotions as they move through healing. There are moments when you climb toward hope, times when life twists you upside down, and stretches where everything feels dark and uncertain. The twists and turns that emerge from trauma, leave many feeling as if they’re riding a rollercoaster - moving from emotional highs to just as intense lows. While this journey can seem daunting, there is hope in the future by accepting the full range of feelings that arise.
The Steady Climb Up
As you undergo healing from trauma, there can be a slurry of emotions within. Discovering new interests, reconnecting with friends and family, or even spending a quiet moment with yourself, provide a sense of excitement and peace ahead. These moments, whether big or small, all remind you that the journey can be full of joy, no matter where you sit on the ride. These moments may not always be consistent, but when they appear, they provide a sense of peace in knowing that the journey has begun.
The Loops, Twists, and Tunnels
One minute, you’re relaxed and at ease, the newfound peace in your life having taken you into a state of bliss. The next you feel a churning in your stomach. Questions race in your mind about if you deserve this peace, if you made the right choice, if you’re doing enough, or even whether you are healing “the right way”. Guilt from what was left unsaid may pop up; shame or self-doubt arise as you question if you can trust yourself; anger may cause confusion. You may feel a mix of rage at yourself or others for not acting sooner, or even for having a role in the trauma to begin with. A sense of unfairness, discomfort, and overwhelm may cloud your thoughts, pushing you into a dark tunnel of loathing and resentment. According to the International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies, when these feelings are left unchecked they can increase the severity of conditions such as depressive disorder and substance use disorder.
While these feelings may be overwhelming, they are not absolute truth. The voice of trauma can often speak over our inner voice; it amplifies our fears, critiques, and negative beliefs about ourselves, distorting our self-worth. Guilt and shame especially can hang over our heads, dragging us into depths of loathing and resentment. Letting go of these feelings can be hard, but not impossible. Caring for yourself, reaching out to people you trust, and offering yourself compassion by gently reminding your heart that these difficult emotions are temporary can help you remember there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
The End of the Ride
The twists and turns can feel never-ending, pushing you through a mass of feelings that can feel inescapable. Despite this, hope persists through it all. It grows through small everyday victories like setting healthy boundaries, overcoming something you once thought was impossible, and even allowing yourself to rest without judgement. Slowly, you remember your resilience. Over time, you trust your voice again, speak up, say no, and take up space. The pain becomes a part of your story, but not the entire book. Your power, strength, and resilience allow you to write your own narrative and move forward on your terms.
In Conclusion:
While healing may feel daunting, it is not impossible. Some days you may feel on top of the world, while others leave you questioning everything. Our mission at &Rise is to uplift and support you through the rollercoaster of emotions that can affect us deeply on our healing journey. Here are our biggest tips for riding the emotional waves:
Accept your emotions as they are - especially the joy. You deserve joy, ease, and peace in your life.
Connecting with people you love and trust, or finding new communities (such as our support groups) are opportunities to remind yourself that you are not alone.
Healing takes time. Giving yourself compassion and grace through the journey will help you through.
And as always, we will remain supportive, uplifting, and present for you. Subscribe to our newsletter for additional resources for combating trauma and check out our additional blog posts about overcoming guilt for yourself and others. Take care of yourself and remember: you are not alone.
